Jotaro's Ravioli
by eightmelodies
Summary: Jotaro doesn't know what to make Kakyoin for dinner for their 2 year anniversary. At the last minute, he comes up with a brilliant plan.


Jotaro paced around the kitchen, eyebrows furrowed as he became lost in thought. It was his and Kakyoin's 2 year anniversary. Last year Kakyoin had cooked him a feast, and Jotaro had planned all year to surprise him by doing the same. He had wracked his brain for months trying to come up with the perfect meal, but he ended up stumped at the last minute. Frustrated, he threw his apron down on the kitchen table and took a seat.

He massaged his temples, thinking as if his life depended on this decision. Kakyoin's favourite food was pasta, but what type would show that Jotaro loved him most? Spaghetti was easy to cook but too simple for an extravagent dinner such as this. Lasagna would take too long, he cursed himself for waiting this long to start cooking. Ravioli...? Ravioli was perfect! He jumped out of his chair and began rooting around the cupboards for the ingredients. He found the spinach, the cheese, tomatos, salt, pepper, and everything that could possibly go into the ravioli. But where were the shells? He remembered buying the ravioli shells at the grocery store, but no matter where he looked he couldn't see them anywhere.

"Fuck this!" Jotaro yelled in frustration as he slammed a cupboard door, cursing his luck. Checking the time he realised he only had a little while left to figure something else, as Kakyoin would be home from work fairly soon. He felt his stomach turning, and decided on a trip to the washroom before continuing his cooking fiasco.

After he had finished his business, feeling relief in his belly, he turned to flush when he was greeted with quite a surprise. Hand on the flusher, he stared wide eyed into the toilet bowl. Where he expected to find his recently excreted fecal matter, he instead found ravioli. He took a step back from the toilet, eyes still firmly locked on the ravioli. The smell wafted up towards his nose, and he stumbled backwards in shock. "Ch-chef Boyardee?" He remembered the smell well from his childhood and teenage years. It was one of those strange American pastas that came in cans. He felt sweat dripping profusely from his forehead, and his entire body began to shake all over. He had wanted to make Kakyoin ravioli, but never this way.

Before he had known it, a fair amount of time had passed with him standing above the toilet bowl. Snapping back to reality, he searched the room, eyes fixing on the ticking clock. 5:50? Kakyoin would be home in 10 minutes and he hadn't even started cooking dinner! Slowly taking his eyes off the clock, he looked back again at the ravioli. If it looked and smelled like Chef Boyardee ravioli, would it taste the same as well? There was only one way to find out.

Kakyoin smiled brightly as he sat down at the dinner table. "I didn't think you even knew how to cook, Jotaro!" he teased. "It sure smells good though!" Jotaro laughed nervously, feeling sweat dripping down his back. With shaking legs, he brought the plate of ravioli over to Kakyoin and gingerly placed it down before the other man. Kakyoin clapped his hands together, still smiling. "Thanks for the food!"

Kakyoin brought the ravioli up to his nose and took a strong whiff. Jotaro felt tears welling up in his eyes, he knew he had commited an irreversible crime. Kakyoin opened his 5-burrito-wide mouth and placed the ravioli on his tongue. Jotaro felt like his eyes were going to pop out of his skull. He should have tried a piece of the ravioli before heating it up. As Kakyoin began chewing, his face slowly turned from a look of contentment to one of uncertainty, and to disgust. Jotaro's knees gave out underneath him and he collapsed to the floor, tears spilling from his eyes. "I'm so sorry Kakyoin, I should never have done this!" He bawled, shame coursing through his body.

Kakyoin placed the fork down on the plate and looked pitifully down at Jotaro. "I appreciate that you wanted to cook for me Jotaro, but trying to disguise Chef Boyardee as home cooking is just wrong." Jotaro's wailing fell short, and he slowly lifted his head and met Kakyoin's eyes. "But, you're lucky that I love Chef Boyardee!"

Jotaro never did end up pooping Chef Boyardee ravioli again, but from that day on he made sure to check every time he went to flush.


End file.
